Reach Far and Wide

My last blog post about geriatric consulting is one to reference in a less more formal call to action. Within the next month I will be doing research as to the plausibility of completing the circle of mental health care for elderly in long-term care facilities. I seek to obtain the perspective of every person effected by this gap in care. I wish to obtain the insight of nursing professionals, family members of residents, Certified Nurse’s Aide’s, and I will be speaking to long-term care facility administrators to present them the opportunity to provide services such as these to their residents.

A quick recap for those that have not been made aware; the mental health treatment of the elderly in long-term care facilities is provided at the suggestion of the overstaffed nurses to the psychiatrist/physician rather than a psychiatrist with a specific plan of action for progress including regular counseling which is a part of every treatment plan for adults under the care of a psychiatrist. In my three years as a CNA, working in four different facilities, not once did I ever see a psychiatrist personally evaluate a patient. Not once did I see a therapist/counselor come to the facility for an appointment for a patient, neither did I see a resident/patient transported away from the facility for this service. We have to ask why is there such a gap in the circle of mental health care for the elderly, and what can we do to remedy this?

I plan to work with psychiatrists and nursing home professionals to provide complete mental health care to residents/patients of long-term care facilities with one-on-one appointments. My goal being to provide educated evaluations to provide to the individual’s psychiatrist, as well as an opportunity for personal therapy which is sorely lacking for residents/patients no longer in their homes, under conditions they have very little control over, and potentially very little family near or available to be there when needed. I want to be that person to make the difference. For scheduled appointments, regular appointments, emergency appointments, or anything else that comes up to potentially be beneficial.

Please take the few seconds to share this information on any source you possibly can. It could literally change and potentially lengthen the lives of elderly loved ones. Link to my original business proposal below. Thank you!!

https://lifewithoutpain186595278.wordpress.com/2019/03/10/psychiatric-consulting-in-long-term-care-facilities/

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Psychosis

I’m going to start off by saying I’m using this title word very broadly here. This topic generally includes several smaller concepts that work together into one little word that many people are terrified to use. Why can’t we be honest about what is ailing us? How can a doctor, a medical professional, sit across from you and tell you that they do not “believe in” your illness? Why do we not have free healthcare across the board like so many countries that we claim to be lesser than us in stature and economy? These are our decisions, but the reason nothing changes is that we don’t talk about it. That’s how we end up with something so atrocious as the Fetal Heart Bill in Iowa. I will re-iterate it again and again; we have to talk about these chronic ailments, the lack of appropriate healthcare available, and how our government is making money off of all of us for these precise reasons.

Above the depression and anxiety I have been labeled with for years, I struggle severely with paranoia. It took a long time for anyone to help me identify that there was a word for what I was feeling. How, when I get into my car I have to check the backseat, my exposed trunk, and look all around me before jumping in and locking the doors immediately. Every. Single. Time. I have a locked garage. I do it every time. I do not have any explanation for this. At no point have I had a traumatic experience in or around a vehicle. My therapist believes there may be some suppressed memories. I did read an article a couple of years ago about women getting grabbed from their cars while they are getting in and to be wary, but I’ve been in this practice for as long as I’ve been driving. I’ve also experienced extremely rapid heartbeat, instant sweating while entering the vehicle, as well as loss of breath as if the act caused me to be tiresome. It was years before realizing this was not normal.

It doesn’t feel good to be different from this concept of “normal” when in school. That was only one symptom of the paranoia. There were plenty of others that caused numerous issues in my daily life. Like, serious issues; with my personal relationships, the care I took of myself, and for a spell I didn’t think I “deserved” to eat. I’ve been told consistently that it is all in my head, I just don’t try hard enough, and so many more. I beg you to get help. If any of this sounds familiar just talk to your doctor. If they respond in any other way than immediate concern, get a new doctor. And that’s no shit. You have the choice to pick another physician. Get a referral to someone more specialized or educated in this area. Please.

The paranoia generally goes hand in hand with depression. I’ve already written about this here so just to touch base, the paranoia and resulting negative emotions/feelings most often cause different kinds of depression. I say different kinds because there absolutely are, and labeling someone with major depressive order could mean different things. And my doctors have told me this. Some people withdraw. Some people self harm, yet keep a perfect public face. Some take up a hobby that they are able to completely absorb themselves in and obsess over. I’ve seen it all. Remember, all of this shit runs in the family; mother dearest being most bonkers of them all.

Anxiety and paranoia are different. This is an important distinction. Though, these do often go hand in hand with each other, but can still present differently in different people. This is why mental health treatment is so difficult because each human is unique, and the world is changing. We are exposed to chemicals every day, now, that did not exist even 100 years ago. And let’s not start on big pharma. Paranoia is most often coined as hearing voices that are not from other humans within your general vicinity. Some people hear voices outside of their head that are not other people. I hear my own. My own voice, distinctly separate from “myself” within my head, is telling me every single second of every single day the worst case scenario. When I’m driving my brain tells me every single way I could potentially get into an accident every trip I make. It is impossible for me to go up the stairs with someone behind me. There is too much risk that they may just be a friend playing a trick, or I’m just too vulnerable if there were a threat. I can’t do it. My significant other suffers from this paranoia the most for reasons I feel can be imagined. It fucking sucks yo.

Remedies! First and foremost, I encourage anyone that believes they are suffering from any type of mental illness or ailment to speak to your doctor or someone more qualified if at all possible. There are other things that can help besides the chemicals, however. Essential oils, for one, are near and dear to my heart for the many different healing properties they have. I have three bottles that literally are for three different types of anxiety I experience. They are superb. The other best legal treatment I have found is CBD. There are numerous forms and there happens to be quick access through yours truly; many ways to get in touch available. This is the aid I have found to be the fastest and most certain relief from anxieties and paranoia.

I will shit on big pharma and the use of chemical pharmaceutical treatments all day long, but I will also acknowledge that there are some ailments that are simply best treated with their use. Even over the side effects. Though, there are other options that may be more appropriate and therefore less harmful for some people. Any of you reading are near and dear to my heart, and if I reach even one person that needed this wake up call then my goal is complete.

 

 

Medications & Side Effects

I can’t possibly fathom why so many medications have side effects of suicidal thoughts, weight gain, anal leakage….why can’t they be more along the lines of perfectly white teeth as a side effect or spontaneous orgasms? I just feel like I shouldn’t have to feel like death when prescribed a new medication, and I don’t understand why that is so much to ask.

In the last week I have been prescribed two new medications. To start with the first, the doctor warned me that I would feel hung over the next morning as I was supposed to take it before going to bed. Well after the most recent narcolepsy drug change that had me sprinting for the bathroom with my pants already down and not being able to exist in any fashion besides horizontal (as soon as I stood up I would be instantly nauseous but there was nothing in my stomach to vomit), I thought I was prepared for this new medication because it couldn’t possibly be worse than that right? Well…while i’m not in as much physical distress, getting out of bed in the morning is physically impossible. Yesterday, after sleeping 12 hours (way more than I had since I was a kid), I finally rolled myself off the bed to land (not so pleasantly) on the floor at one o’clock and said “alright, we’re doing this”.

The newest narcolepsy medication they put me on was just started this morning. My entire treatment has revolved around the prescriptions of various kinds of meth from the very beginning, but they have had names that disguise it a little bit such as dextroamphetamine or methylphenidate. But today I pick up a medication called Evekeo which had no generic name which was odd. Until I started searching on the paperwork with the pharmacist to discover the generic name is just amphetamine. They’re not even trying to hide it anymore. They are giving me prescription grade meth to treat this narcolepsy and I’m really just not okay with that, but what else do I do?

I found a recipe/mixture of essential oils the other day that are to help with wakefulness and such, but I don’t have all of the oils that are most helpful. And being unemployed means I can’t just run and get the things that I need. Such as conditioner; I have been living without conditioner for more than two weeks now. My hair is completely dead and straw-like.

But I simply can’t understand why these side effects have to be so awful. It’s almost comical at times because if you prescribe an antidepressant to a young girl (for example) that has side effects of weight gain and suicidal thoughts, how in the world is that drug supposed to actually help her? If she’s already depressed you think weight gain is going to help or improve the self-confidence that is probably lacking? Depression medications are a joke and need to be completely re-evaluated.

Narcolepsy on the other hand, I barely understand. I keep reading reviews of each of these drugs, and people saying each of them has helped immensely. Yet, I’m still nodding off while driving and falling out of my chair doing homework; because I forced myself to sit at the kitchen table to do my homework thinking that would keep me awake. Literally nothing I do stops me from sleeping when I least desire to. So, I finally succumbed to the conventional chemical methods, but those don’t work either. If anything I’ve gotten worse.

I just know that the big pharmaceutical companies don’t give a damn about any human as an individual. Their only concern is how to make the most money, and in this country without free healthcare it makes sense because primarily it is the insurance companies or government being charged for these medications. But that still leaves out the other part of the population, nearly half, without healthcare or access to the drugs that could potentially save their lives (such as insulin for diabetics). I’ve seen so many articles where a pill that costs over $200 here costs only $4 in another country, and the pharmeceutical companies are only doing this BECAUSE THEY CAN. Because there are no regulations or stipulations to stop them.

Pay attention to your politicians folks because many of them are backed by big pharma too. Research the medications your doctors prescribe you and see if the manufacturer is a benefactor of that clinic or hospital. A lot of this stuff is public record, people just don’t know to look. We can’t always fight the use of prescription and chemical medications to treat our ailments, but we can fight the big pharma to try and get the care we deserve.

Anxiety

This is a subject in which I have absolutely no idea where to begin, but I still feel it’s important to address and be open about. Too many people suffer in silence and it’s just not necessary. This stigma on mental illnesses seriously needs to end. Yesterday.

My favorite is when people claim anxiety wasn’t a problem 100 years ago, and that people just “got over it”. Because what happened behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors, and that is why we have so many adults that aren’t able to function as successful members of society and the children they raised that are now shooting up schools primarily due to untreated mental illness. And I am one of them that simply is not able to function as a productive human at this time, no matter how hard I try.

This is not the time to re-live the past or the reasons I developed this awful condition. It literally affects every single aspect of my day. Every thought running through my head is laced with a touch of anxiety; meaning there is always the potential for something to go wrong and my brain has to process every single potential reality at all times. Every single time I get into my car I have to check the backseat and trunk. Then I have to check all around me before hopping in the car and locking it immediately. This may be more appropriate behavior when in a parking lot late at night, but I have to do this every single time I get into my car; even if it’s in my locked garage. There’s no real reason, except the anxiety.

I spend a lot of time in my house alone which is not beneficial to my mental health AT ALL. There are always odd noises that bother me enough without the dogs barking at every single noise as well. I have to check my windows and doors multiple times to make sure they are all locked; even if I only checked them the hour before and nothing had changed. I just don’t remember the last time I felt truly safe in my environment. And I have medications that are supposed to help with these things, but just another case where the pharmeceuticals are just keeping me in this condition in order to make more money.

I believe the worst anxiety is when I can’t initially recognize it. Over the years I have been fairly suggessful in acknowledging when the anxiety is starting to take over and to start taking measures to prevent it. I always start with meditation, deep breathing, essential oils, and other measures. But they might work 35% of the time. So, I’ll be restless with an increased heart rate. I’ll become manic and speaking really fast, and the irritability causes the most issues. It is at this point where I can generally acknowledge the anxiety…it just depends on the level. Whether it turns into a panic attack or not.

Now onto what anxiety can look like…the worst I ever experienced as a panic attack was when I had to lock myself in the trunk of my car with the keys because it was the only place where I could feel safe. Small dark places, like my closet and under the bed, are my go-to’s  when I just need a place to feel safe. Reading used to be of help when I was younger, or being outdoors. But now being out of my house causes more anxiety than anything else. The idea of people’s eyes on me is simply unbearable. It doesn’t help that I’m not necessarily entirely awful to look at, so I wear baggy and dark clothes to try to blend in and not be seen.

Other times it is the separation anxiety that scares me the most. The world is a dangerous place as my brain reminds me frequently, and any person could die at any time. Every time a loved one steps out of my door I feel my heart tearing. It’s not that I hear voices per say, but my brain regularly tells me the worst case scenario that could ever possibly occur at any time. Just my significant other backing out of the driveway worries me that someone could be coming down the road and side-swipe him. I’ve never experienced a love where I was terrified to the core of my soul and being that something might happen to them. The worst part is that I don’t even feel this way about my biological family. After everything that has happened…..I just don’t care. And that is an awful thing to say or even think.

I could write a book. And I’ve honestly thought about it. Similar to “The Child Called It” type lifestyle. There is so much more to write on this topic, but I would much rather hear from others about what they experience and what they do to aide the daily anxiety. Can comment on this or contact me through the site itself. I just want to live in a world where none of us have to deal with this debilitating mental illness.

Pain In The Brain

This is going to be a hard one for me. I have been diagnosed with so many different disorders I don’t even believe these “professionals”. But the fact remains that I do have chemical imbalances in my brain that make it very difficult to function within my daily life.

My brain literally attacks me. It will create awful thoughts and scenarios that I can’t help but to believe is true. It can be the simplest thing; from someone giving me a side eye at a restaurant which will send me spinning into a panic with a million reasons why they would do that, if I did something wrong, if the way I dressed was offensive or something they deemed inappropriate.

The worst is the thoughts put into my head about my significant other. He is the most gracious person in the world for putting up with and supporting me through my eccentricities. My brain tells me he’s cheating, lying about his location, and hiding things from me but it simply is not the case. This man loves me more than anything and I trust him with all of my heart; never given me the slightest reason to doubt. But my brain reports otherwise not matter how much I tell it it’s wrong. Does anybody else have conversations with their brain? Golly I hope I’m not the only one there…

The sedatives they put me on are changed every two weeks; just long enough for the side effects to run their course, and then they switch me to something else.

The depression I can handle, but the anxiety I can’t. And it sure as hell doesn’t help that because there are those few people that abuse prescription meds I am unable to get the ones I need because of my age and other bullhonky reasons. Every doctor sees me as a pill seeker and I absolutely can’t stand it. I didn’t even want these chemicals in my body but my homeopathic remedies were not sufficient.

The medications have also caused my eyesight to worsen greatly, it has affected my speech causing stutters and other issues, and I have the shakes almost constantly. These side effects aren’t deemed serious enough to deal with so I just have to keep trucking though it until something sticks and finally works.

I do have to note that there are plenty of other ways to treat mental disorders that are not pharmaceutical, but it’s all a money scheme for the rich to become richer as we barely survive (and some don’t). I would also like to note there is specific plant that is very helpful in treating these conditions, but it is currently illegal in Iowa and it is entirely saddening to me. There has to be a better solution than the healthcare system currently in place in this country. So upsetting.

Gotta try to keep the positive attitude though and just keep hoping for one day living a life without pain ☺️

Thanks guys! Sending good vibes as always ✌️