I’m going to start off by saying I’m using this title word very broadly here. This topic generally includes several smaller concepts that work together into one little word that many people are terrified to use. Why can’t we be honest about what is ailing us? How can a doctor, a medical professional, sit across from you and tell you that they do not “believe in” your illness? Why do we not have free healthcare across the board like so many countries that we claim to be lesser than us in stature and economy? These are our decisions, but the reason nothing changes is that we don’t talk about it. That’s how we end up with something so atrocious as the Fetal Heart Bill in Iowa. I will re-iterate it again and again; we have to talk about these chronic ailments, the lack of appropriate healthcare available, and how our government is making money off of all of us for these precise reasons.

Above the depression and anxiety I have been labeled with for years, I struggle severely with paranoia. It took a long time for anyone to help me identify that there was a word for what I was feeling. How, when I get into my car I have to check the backseat, my exposed trunk, and look all around me before jumping in and locking the doors immediately. Every. Single. Time. I have a locked garage. I do it every time. I do not have any explanation for this. At no point have I had a traumatic experience in or around a vehicle. My therapist believes there may be some suppressed memories. I did read an article a couple of years ago about women getting grabbed from their cars while they are getting in and to be wary, but I’ve been in this practice for as long as I’ve been driving. I’ve also experienced extremely rapid heartbeat, instant sweating while entering the vehicle, as well as loss of breath as if the act caused me to be tiresome. It was years before realizing this was not normal.

It doesn’t feel good to be different from this concept of “normal” when in school. That was only one symptom of the paranoia. There were plenty of others that caused numerous issues in my daily life. Like, serious issues; with my personal relationships, the care I took of myself, and for a spell I didn’t think I “deserved” to eat. I’ve been told consistently that it is all in my head, I just don’t try hard enough, and so many more. I beg you to get help. If any of this sounds familiar just talk to your doctor. If they respond in any other way than immediate concern, get a new doctor. And that’s no shit. You have the choice to pick another physician. Get a referral to someone more specialized or educated in this area. Please.

The paranoia generally goes hand in hand with depression. I’ve already written about this here so just to touch base, the paranoia and resulting negative emotions/feelings most often cause different kinds of depression. I say different kinds because there absolutely are, and labeling someone with major depressive order could mean different things. And my doctors have told me this. Some people withdraw. Some people self harm, yet keep a perfect public face. Some take up a hobby that they are able to completely absorb themselves in and obsess over. I’ve seen it all. Remember, all of this shit runs in the family; mother dearest being most bonkers of them all.

Anxiety and paranoia are different. This is an important distinction. Though, these do often go hand in hand with each other, but can still present differently in different people. This is why mental health treatment is so difficult because each human is unique, and the world is changing. We are exposed to chemicals every day, now, that did not exist even 100 years ago. And let’s not start on big pharma. Paranoia is most often coined as hearing voices that are not from other humans within your general vicinity. Some people hear voices outside of their head that are not other people. I hear my own. My own voice, distinctly separate from “myself” within my head, is telling me every single second of every single day the worst case scenario. When I’m driving my brain tells me every single way I could potentially get into an accident every trip I make. It is impossible for me to go up the stairs with someone behind me. There is too much risk that they may just be a friend playing a trick, or I’m just too vulnerable if there were a threat. I can’t do it. My significant other suffers from this paranoia the most for reasons I feel can be imagined. It fucking sucks yo.

Remedies! First and foremost, I encourage anyone that believes they are suffering from any type of mental illness or ailment to speak to your doctor or someone more qualified if at all possible. There are other things that can help besides the chemicals, however. Essential oils, for one, are near and dear to my heart for the many different healing properties they have. I have three bottles that literally are for three different types of anxiety I experience. They are superb. The other best legal treatment I have found is CBD. There are numerous forms and there happens to be quick access through yours truly; many ways to get in touch available. This is the aid I have found to be the fastest and most certain relief from anxieties and paranoia.

I will shit on big pharma and the use of chemical pharmaceutical treatments all day long, but I will also acknowledge that there are some ailments that are simply best treated with their use. Even over the side effects. Though, there are other options that may be more appropriate and therefore less harmful for some people. Any of you reading are near and dear to my heart, and if I reach even one person that needed this wake up call then my goal is complete.




CBD – Changing the Future Outcome

CBD is life changing for so many people that if you have the capability you must at LEAST give it a try; particularly anyone in chronic pain of any kind. Cannabidiol is a quickly rising business because of the fresh legality (Farm Act of 2014) of this. This is a product made from hemp which is why some people may shy away from it, but it contains ZERO THC, and is completely legal in every way. Most malls have a store within them that sell it if you know where to look, but I found a company and a way to be receiving this on your doorstep which I will share later on.

CBD was labeled as powerful thearapeutic property by Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent, because of it’s properties used to aide with chronic pain, nausea, anxiety, digestive issues, and so much more. Dr. Nora Volkow, the Director of the National Institute on drug abuse verified that there are absolutely zero addictive effects, and agrees that this product is of therapeautic value for a number of medical conditions.

A more thorough, yet still not entirely extensive, list of ailments which CBD aides with…

  • Inflammation
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Automimmune disorders
  • Metabolism
  • Appetite
  • Energy Regulation
  • Neuropathic Pain
  • Reproductive function
  • Cancer

The reason this product works is because there are specific cannabinoid receptors in more than one place in our bodies. The CB1 Cannabinoid Receptor is located in the brain which obviously controls so many different bodily conditions, and the CB2 Cannabinoid Receptor is located in the thymus of the immune system. This product is entirely safe and encouraged to use for our pets as well to help with arthritis or other pains such as nausea and a variety of skin issues.

There are many different ways in which to consume CBD such as orally in pill form, orally in *tincture form, and there’s even one company that provides it in breath sprays and chews. The chews are incorporated with many other beneficial elements in order to replace your daily vitamin with them, and have the added benefit of CBD. The chews also make administration to our pets so much easier.

So, the company I referenced before is actually called Changing The Future Outcome (CTFO). It is by far the most reputable site I have yet found for these products. I get emails every single day about free CBD trials, but you never know who exactly that is coming from or the quality. I believe in these products so damn much I became a representative myself (which was totally free to do by the way) in order to have the information and capability of sharing this with others.

This company’s products are all vegan, organic, and naturally sourced from the highest grade, Non-GMO, and pesticide free hemp. They create a multitude of products I would have never expected. They have an entire pet line of pet treats and oral sprays. They have a CBD health line with anti-wrinkle/aging creams, pain-relief creams (nerve and muscle), and an abundance of oral sprays to help with weightloss, pain relief, energy blast/focus, sleep support, and an antistress/relaxation spray. They even have a small non-CBD line with supplements, meal-replacement shakes, and gummies that help to control hunger-cravings and boost metabolism.

I encourage everyone living with pain every day, suffering from any ailment above, or just interested in these super great products to get in touch with me. I’d love to get you any more information you’d like or if you wanted to jump on board to get some discounts then more power to you. I can absolutely get you involved and like I said before, becoming an associate for CTFO is completely free. You register, and if you end up selling some of these amazing products (as you cannot just order off the website, which is dumb i’ll agree; as I looked all over to try to find this option for you guys) then you get a bit of a commission there through the website. Which I would like to clarify is clearly not the reason I would share this information with you guys; I just have literally tried CBD tincture and it has worked wonders.

*Tincture is the most common (and in my opinion most effective) method of administration. It is a liquid in a bottle that can be dropped under the tongue a few times a day as needed for pain or other ailments, can be added to drinks such as coffee and tea, or even used in vape pens for a more portable (and for some easier to use) method.

Get in touch guys; I’d love to chat 🙂

Essential Oils

Good morning!

I really wanted to share about the beauty of essential oils. I first learned about essential oils when a good friend became a representative for Young Living. She discovered them when looking for alternative treatments for her Rheumatoid Arthritis instead of the dozen different pills they wanted her to take. The best part was her father who referred to them as “kook oils” in his defiance to homeopathic remedies instead of just “toughing it out” as he would say. There are so many different brands of essential oils that one must be vigilant in ensuring the oils they are purchasing are of high quality in order to prevent skin reactions, for proper dosing, and they are simply more effective. Young Living Essential Oils have been a staple in my home for years, and that will never change.

There are literally unlimited uses. I have included a simple guide, but encourage you to research on your own. Any ailment you have I guarantee there is an essential oil that can help you. Particularly pain. I have a nerve pain essential oil mixture made of lavender, frankincense, eucalyptus, peppermint, and coconut oil. When using essential oils, a lot of people cannot put them directly on their skin because of a minor reaction. I know someone that gets a rash if peppermint oil directly touches their skin, but that is the most severe reaction I have personally seen. This is the purpose of the coconut oil; to dilute it. However, there are much better oils to dilute with such as jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, argan oil, and many more. This would be because coconut oil will return to a solid state within the bottle which just takes a few minutes to warm up in between your hands if this occurs.

My staple essential oil is lavender. It is a wonderful oil that helps immensely with stress and relaxation. This is a gentle enough oil most people do not have a reaction to direct application. I use it every single day as direct application to my temples, neck, and wrists. I also use it in my diffusor, putting it in my *baths, putting a few drops on a dryer sheet before drying my clothes, and so many others.

*When adding essential oils to baths I’ve found the best way to combine the two is with Epsom salts. If you drop some lavender oil into a palmful of Epsom salts before putting them into the water it lasts and incorporates much better.

The link below is to a website with literally all of the details you could potentially need to know, as well as how-to step-by-step videos, about using essential oils. Including a more thorough look at the purposes of different oils, the best way to dilute mixtures, and recipes for different ailments. She has a lot of other great information such as ways to live toxin free in a society which is prevalent of them.

Here is a thorough list of oils and their purposes yet still not complete so if you have an ailment you are looking to remedy check out the website above, and if you don’t find it there…Google people.

  • Arborvitae – Grounding, cleansing, insect repellent
  • Basil – Menstruation problems, sore muscles, mental alertness
  • Bergamot – Emotional support, skin problems, skin purifying
  • Black Pepper – Circulation, antioxidant, improved absorption
  • Cardamom – Respiratory problems, improves digestion
  • Cassia – Sexual stimulant, improves digestion
  • Cedarwood – Emotional support, insect repellent, skin support
  • Chamomile – Calming, soothing, improves immune function
  • Cilantro – Purifying, improves digestion, supports healthy skin, antioxidant
  • Cinnamon Bark – Oral health, cleansing, supports metabolic function
  • Clary Sage – Hormone balancing, tension, emotional support, PMS
  • Clove – Oral health, immune health, heart health
  • Coriander – Clear skin, sore joints, improves digestion
  • Cumin – Purifying, improves digestion
  • Cypress- Energy, skin health, muscle tension
  • Dill – Calming, improves digestion
  • Eucalyptus – Cleansing, respiratory problems, skin
  • Fennel – Circulation, metabolism, improves digestion
  • Fir (White) – Respiratory, empowering, muscles, joints
  • Frankincense – Emotional support, skin health
  • Geranium – Insect repellent, calming, improved skin and hair health
  • Ginger – Grounding, antioxidant, digestive support
  • Grapefruit – Stimulating, alertness, cleansing, skin health, appetite suppressant
  • Hawaiian Sandalwood – Improves concentration, healthy skin
  • Helichrysum – Improves metabolism, healthy skin
  • Jasmine – Balances the mood, healthy skin
  • Juniper Berry – Stress relief, cleansing, skin toner, kidney/urinary support
  • Lavender – Universal oil, calming, stress relief, skin health, headache relief
  • Lemon – Energy, stimulating, respiratory support, improved digestion
  • Lemongrass – Calming, improved digestion, complexion, insect repellent
  • Lemon Balm – Calming, stress, tension, immune support
  • Lime – Stimulating, energy, detoxifying, improved immune function
  • Marjoram – Heart health, muscle support, emotional support
  • Myrrh – Emotional balance, cleansing, skin health
  • Orange – Emotional balance, cleansing, purifying, stimulating
  • Oregano – Healthy digestion, respiratory problems, powerful cleansing agent
  • Patchouli – Healthy skin, complexion, tension, stress, grounding
  • Peppermint – Cooling, energy, digestive and respiratory support
  • Roman Chamomile – Immune system support, calming, stress relief
  • Rose – Emotional balance, clear skin, complexion
  • Rosemary – Respiratory support, memory, digestion, healthy hair/scalp
  • Sandalwood – Calming, grounding, skin health
  • Spearmint – Oral health, improved breath, digestive health
  • Tangerine – Energy, cleansing, supports the immune system
  • Tea Tree – Super cleansing, skin health, improves immune function
  • Thyme – Insect repellent, cleansing, purifying, immune system support
  • Vetiver – Calming, grounding, supports immune system function
  • Wild Orange – Antioxidant, energy, emotional balance, overall health
  • Wintergreen – Emotional support, sore muscles or joints, skin health
  • Ylang Ylang – Healthy hair and skin, calming

If you have any questions or comments as always get in touch 🙂


Nearly four months ago I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. I had issues with my sleep my entire life. As a kid it would take hours to get to sleep; to the point where there were several times, I watched the sun rise out of my window because I simply couldn’t sleep. Before going to the sleep doctors I tried every single natural remedy I could think of; different herbal teas and supplements as well as melatonin and other such aids to no avail. I still could not sleep through the night, but my biggest qualm was that I would wake up every single day feeling more tired than when I laid down to go to sleep.

The problem is, I feel like the medications are making it worse. They have had me on methylphenidate, Adderall, temazepam, and one other stimulant so far in which I have not noticed any significant difference. Oh, except for the fact that now I am literally falling asleep anywhere and everywhere with no notice, when before it was only a problem that if I laid down my head anywhere I could fall asleep in minutes. And I’ll admit there were a few times I fell asleep at my desk in the very early mornings, but no matter how tired I had been in the past I never fell asleep during a movie. I feel much shame in admitting this; I fell asleep during Infinity Wars like six different times. I missed the ending and will have to go back this weekend to make up for this epic failure.

I just don’t understand how I wasn’t randomly falling asleep before the drugs, but all of a sudden now I am. They also have some pretty severe interactions with common medications; like I can’t even take Acetaminophen for a headache. And they are a hassle having to be taken at specific times a specific amount of times per day. I go in tomorrow to see if there are even any other medications they can put me on because I’ve already gone through all of the normal treatments.

When the doctor first told me about this diagnosis he told me that my brain showed signs of severe brain damage, and he asked if I had ever had any accidents in which I hit my head or had any type of damage. I told him I had never had so much as a concussion in my entire life. He then tells me the only other time he’s seen this is in PTSD victims that have returned from war and proceeds to ask me if I had experienced any trauma in my life to this point to where I literally laughed in his face. Where would you like me to start? But NEVER did I think any of it would result in actual brain damage.

Almost all of the research from general sources state the exact same useless things. I plan to dig deeper into this when I potentially have time, but the sources I plan to inspect are difficult to find and take time that I do not have. If anyone else has information or related experiences feel free to share; I would appreciate the input 🙂